Social History of Sexual Relations in Iran by William Floor

This study illuminates the 2,500-year social history of sexual relations in Iran. Marriage, temporary marriage, prostitution, and homosexuality are all discussed, as well as the often unintended result of these relations--sexually transmitted diseases. A Social History of Sexual Relations in Iran uses travelers accounts, Iranian and international archival sources, as well as government data, to bring together, in detail, and within the context of Iranian culture and religion, the nature, variety, and problems of sexual relations in Iran over the ages. Finally, Willem Floor summarizes the issues that Iranian society faces today--which are not dissimilar to that of many other industrial nations--the challenge to the male claim to dominance over women; change in the age of marriage; premarital sex; rising divorce rates; rising promiscuity; prostitution; sexually transmitted diseases; homosexuality; and street children.

Third Wave Brain Drain

Mona, a university graduate, speaks fluent English and carries a rare confidence and motivation, but she is also depressed. All her friends in Tehran are leaving one by one to live or study in America, England or Germany, and within a year, she says she will have no one left—even her boyfriend plans on going to Australia soon. Three years ago, as she studied hard and did well in school, she never imagined that she would need to leave the country to work, but now she sees it as the only option. As she talks, I remember how many people I’ve met over the past few months who have left or who are planning to emigrate in order to find better opportunities outside of Iran. This recent mass emigration of educated, usually affluent, Iranian youth could be categorized as the third-wave Brain Drain for Iranian society.

In the years of the Islamic Revolution, supporters of the Shah and other dissidents from the upper strata of society fled the country. Although these exiles took with them young talent and wealth, Iran was willing to rebuild itself without them. However, shortly after the Revolution, Iraq attacked Iran, and an even larger group of Iranians left during the eight years of war. Many had wanted to stay, but could not see an end to the fighting. Instead they sought stability in primarily Western countries. This second-wave Brain Drain was a big blow to the development of the country. It was the professionals, skilled workers and those with college degrees who left, and it was exactly those types of people who were needed to rebuild Iran. After the war, Iran was left with an economic and political vacuum, and important positions were filled by anyone, no matter what their skill set. The effects of such haphazard development are still being felt today.

Gradually, the nation regained hope, and especially during the years of Khatami’s presidency, emigration declined and people saw a future for their families and themselves within Iran. Now, due to disillusionment with the reform movement and Iran’s current economic woes, Iranians, especially Iranian youth, have been looking abroad for answers to their problems. The US embassies in surrounding countries have become so full of visa requests from Iranian citizens, that even President Bush’s hawkish government has suggested establishing a US interest section inside Iran to handle these visa applications.

With double-digit unemployment, soaring inflation, and tightening social controls, it is no wonder that youth have been seeking an escape. But the problem goes even deeper. Wages do not match the high costs of living in Tehran. A large proportion of high school graduates continue to higher education, but even after attaining college degrees few jobs are available to them. Still those who are able to land a decent job have a hard time getting by, and very few can afford to live separately from their parents. Those who want to marry, have to wait until they can afford to do so, and couples sometimes wait years to have children. In the workplace, employers rarely fully utilize talent, and getting promotions or raises in wages is difficult. As a result, employees are not dedicated to their work because they have lost hope for success and growth. Such a depressed workforce negatively affects the economy, and the cycle is endless.

On the other hand, the opportunities for success in Iran are actually enormous because so many niches need to be filled. One young man, for example, decided to open one of the first veterinary clinics in Tehran, and he is now better off than his brother who moved to the US. Those with the start-up capital and energy to navigate the complicated licensing and investment system have been able to amass fortunes. Few, however, have the financial ability, stamina or creativity to take this path, and they see emigration as an easier route to save money and live a comfortable life. Also, the current government’s hard-line approach to the public activities and dress of youth has added societal frustrations to economic ones.

The effects of the third-wave Brain Drain will be seen in the years to come. It is often said that the youth are the future of a nation, but with so many leaving, who will be left and what does it mean for those who remain? However, there is also the possibility that these youth will come back from their experiences and studies abroad with the realization that it is not necessarily so easy to succeed in other parts of the world, and they will use their new-found skills and knowledge to contribute to the development of the country. But this can only happen if the State can provide the grounds for them to return, rather than creating even more justifications for them to leave.

National Secrecy

It was around midnight. We were driving through the cemetery after spending an hour at my uncle's recently dug grave. It was his first night in the cemetery and his family did not want him to spend it alone. As we drove in silence, I stared out the window admiring the strange peacefulness of a cemetery at night. But in a moment the scene was disturbed by the sight of several men preparing graves. Twelve caskets whizzed by my eyes one by one. Twelve people dead from an explosion in Shiraz the day before. Young and pious, they had died while listening to the preachings of a supposed liberal-minded cleric (Mohammad Anjavinejad) who was very popular with the youth for daring to say that young people should make their own decisions on how to live their lives. During his sermon, an explosion went off bringing down the roof of the building. Two hundred people were rushed to the hospital with severe injuries.

I was in the airport that day trying to get a rush ticket to Shiraz. The airport was full of people trying to get on the same flight, and I wasted 5 futile hours at the airport unable to secure a ticket in the end. I spent my five hours roaming the airport staring at the big screen TVs. Not one showed coverage of the explosion. After arriving in Shiraz I checked the headlines at a newspaper kiosk, not one of the papers had mentioned the explosion on the front page. Later, I listened to some coverage and I got the feeling that the local media was talking about a bombing in some other country that had afflicted some other people.

Investigative police came to the conclusion that the explosion was the cause of left over explosives from the exhibition of the Sacred Defense (1980-88 Iran-Iraq War) that showcased explosive equipment a week before. Though I wouldn't be surprised at such ineptness, I find it difficult to believe that explosive material had just been lying around the building for a week without anyone noticing. Many in Shiraz were of the opinion that the hushing up of the incident meant that the government was behind the bombing. It seems unlikely because the cleric wasn't radical enough to deserve the attention of the religious establishment, but in any case the government did a good job of making itself look suspicious.

Anjavinejad was also an outspoken critic of both Wahabbi extremists and the Baha'i faith. It is possible that a radical Sunni group was behind the bombing, though they usually claim responsibility for terrorist actions soon afterwards. It would explain why the incident's being hushed up though, because Iran has recently been trying to make good with Saudi Arabia and letting the media carry on about a Wahhabi terrorist attack in Iran would put a halt to negotiations. While some are trying to pin it on Baha'is, I find this to be a ridiculous assertion. If Baha'is were going to start bombing people for discriminating against them, they would have far better targets than Anjavinejad.

Whatever the cause, since the incident two weeks ago, the investigation seems to be over and the government is probably hoping that it has been forgotten about. Supreme Leader Khamenei was supposed to go to Shiraz to show his support, but I doubt that he will actually make the trip.

A few days after the explosion a fighter jet crashed at Mehrabad Airport, and like the explosion in Shiraz, there was little to no mention of it in the news. There are no conspiracies behind the crash, but the government probably doesn't want to make a big deal out of the fact that our fighter jets are old and outdated, relics of the Shah's massive fleet from 30 years ago. I just find it disappointing that important news in this country is kept so hidden from public view. People are still able to get the information and illegally watch YouTube clips of the incidents taken with an onlooker's mobile phone. This obvious secrecy only increases the resentment and suspicion against the government. Therefore it hurts them to be so secretive in the long run, but government officials rarely take into account the long term effects of their actions.

Oo-Ba-Ma

During the lead up to the Parliamentary elections in Iran that happened in early March, I heard far more people discussing the US Democratic race than giving their opinion on who they would vote for in Parliament. Perhaps they thought the US race would affect their lives more in the long run than the Iranian one. Perhaps they were able to get plenty of information about the US candidates compared to the minimal coverage of elections here. Due to strict regulations on when, where and how much they can spend on a campaign, for better or worse, it seemed that people in Tehran had little clue of who they were voting for. Some followed party lines, took suggestions from those who "knew better" or went for the familiar names. In the meantime, everyone I talked to had an opinion on Hillary, McCain, and the most popular, Obama.

Oo-ba-ma. In Farsi it means "he's with us." Obama would never align himself that closely with Iranians, but people here, and all over the world for that matter, have a special affection for him. For whatever reason, (his Muslim roots, his foreign father, his message of hope and coming together, his willingness for dialogue with "enemy" nations) Iranians anticipate that unlike the aggressive policies of Bush, he will be able to open the doors for Iranians who are increasingly being cut off from the world both economically and culturally. They think that with Obama as president, as well as a less hawkish Iranian president in office after Ahmadinejad is voted out, communication and reason will once again be able to flow between Iran and the West.

Admittedly, I am also optimistic, but I don't hold my expectations too high that Obama will make things sweet and rosy between the two countries. All I hope for is some sort of dialogue that will release the pressure that people face here. Because when the US is hawkish, it gives the excuse for hawks here to clamp down on civil society, not to mention the stifling of foreign investment.

As for the few who like Hillary, they say that since she is a woman, she might force the Iranian government to accept the legitimacy of a woman's political power, and hence women here would be able to express themselves more freely. From what I've seen, I doubt that this would happen. Foreign women, according to the government, are different from Iranian women and just like Japanese girls who visit Iran and go to soccer games while Iranian girls are banned from attending, a foreign woman can become president and that will have no affect on the power of a woman here.

And McCain, well, the few, the very few, that support him, hope that he will take Iran to war eventually and drive out the clerics. Or they think that he is the only one strong enough and ruthless enough to lead a country like America. Well, he is ruthless in the cartoon villain sort of way.

It's too bad Iranians can't vote in the US presidential elections, especially since America's actions have effects far beyond its borders, it seems like most of the world has a stake in who leads the American people. As I watch the elections from across the ocean, I become increasingly on edge as I see the Democratic race being dragged out day by day. Hillary is holding on by a string, analysts had said that if she didn't win by more than 10% in Pennsylvania, she would pretty much be out of the race. She won by around 9% and yet she still holds on. By May 6th, more than likely she will be forced to step out, but her delay only gives McCain more of a foothold. This makes me worried because my biggest hope is that one day in Iran people will never again chant "Down to America" and that America will give them no reason to.

With Hillary's recent quote, it would be impossible for that to ever happen under her presidency:

“I want the Iranians to know that if I’m the president, we will attack Iran. In the next 10 years, during which they might foolishly consider launching an attack on Israel, we would be able to totally obliterate them.”

McCain has been repeatedly clear on his stance on Iran. No need to dispense one of his many quotes here.

Tehran Urban Art Scene

Recently I went to a graffiti art exhibition, but because it wasn't a licensed exhibit I won't go into details about the artist or the venue. Though I will say that he's extremely talented (he seems to be the only up writer in Tehran) and that the gallery is known for supporting young talented artists who are forced "underground" due to severe restrictions. I just wanted to share some pictures of pieces that I took at the exhibit and a couple that I've taken around the city.

The artist uses the veil as a symbol in a lot of his work, this one the woman is covered but only from the neck up. I find it poignant because for a significant percentage of women here, the veil is just a facade they are forced to uphold because of the law as well as societal pressures. Even if some truly believe in wearing hijab, their actions may not reflect their outside appearance.

This was a tagged wall that was cleaned up the next day. The artist I talked to said graffiti has really short runs in Tehran because it is usually cleaned up quickly by police or by ordinary people. Also getting caught here is extremely dangerous (and expensive) so it's vital to go with a crew and have several lookouts.

More work from the exhibit. The artist combines traditional caligraphy of famous poets like Hafez, here he has set the lines of poetry to a backdrop of urban design.

He uses records as a canvas for many of his pieces.

50 Cent. He's everywhere. Most of the writers in Tehran (there are probably more than 40 known in the city) are fairly amateur. Most of them tag in English. Most of the time, they make no sense.

In the background, veiled women covered in the chador while a woman screams in the foreground. The writing is poetry from Hafez that says something to the effect of, you need to work on yourself before you can lead and influence others.

My favorite piece in the exhibit because it is so Tehran.

An Inconvenient Lie

Somebody once said that if you lie to the government you can't help but lie to your loved ones. This is so true in Iran, and it is causing a sickness to spread through Iranian society. More and more, people are seeking psychological help and turning to prescription drugs to solve their growing desolation and societal schizophrenia that is caused by being forced to live two or more separate lives. One is your institutional life (work, school, religion, government buildings, public streets); second is your family life; third is the life with your friends; fourth is your love life. And perhaps there are others.

The best way to explain this is to illustrate a typical story here in Tehran:

So, I'm a young woman in high school. At home, my parents complain about the government, but then I go to school and listen to government propaganda. When I'm in public I wear hijab (covering) because it's the law and at school I pray, but at home and at parties I don't wear hijab and I barely ever pray. I tell everyone that I'm Shia Muslim, but I like reading about other religions and I don't really believe in anything. But I have a group of religious friends at school who really like Ahmadinejad so to avoid arguing I say I like him too. On the internet I use filter blockers to visit illegal sites that even my parents don't want me to go to, and I watch illegal satellite TV and buy black market movies. My Dad has told me that I can't date until I am ready to get married, but I have two boyfriends that I juggle around. They don't know about each other, but they probably have several girlfriends each anyways. My best friend wants me to hang out one night, but I have a date with her ex boyfriend so I say that I have work to do. When I'm out with my friends, I call my parents to tell them that I'm at the library studying.

There are millions of variations of this story, some less extreme than others. I hear these stories because people think that because I am a foreigner they can confide in me and I won't judge them. I met two lesbians who lived together. Not even their closest friends knew that they were in a relationship. It gets too risky. There is a fine line between the spheres of government and society. There is a fine line between the spheres of society and family. Here they all become blurred so that you can't fully trust anyone. This can cause a person to completely lose their identity and sense of self.

How long can you lie to everyone before you end up lying to yourself?

Turkish Identity

Tabriz is the home town of my father and also the capital of the Turkish (Azeri) region of Iran. I was there a few weeks ago, and it has inspired me to write the beginnings of a short story below. But first, important Turkish lesson 101.

10 things Iranian-Turks are known for:

1. Jokes, all the punchlines are meant to mock the supposed stupidity of the Turk, everyone in this country loves these jokes except for the Turks of course.


2. A poet named Shahriar, there is a weekly TV drama right now about him that is very popular


3. For being successful business people, the Iranian bazaar (market) primarily consists of Turkish buisnessman and the bazaar is still a powerful entity in this country


4. For this really cool building that is dedicated to poets of the region, Shahriar being # one


5. Carpets


6. Producing many famous clerics


7. Turkish women being great cooks


8. For being extremely protective of their language, they hate being forced to speak Farsi when a non-Turk comes to Tabriz. This makes my life difficult because I never learned Turkish growing up.


9. The Constitutional Revolution of the late 1800s and early 1900s began in Tabriz. This Revolution was beginnings of democracy in Iran.


10. In reality, Turks built Iran and made it what it is today. Most of the big Iranian dynasties have been Turkish (Safavid, Khorezm-Shah, Ghaznavid, Qajar, Seljuk). I think that ethnic Fars people know this and are resentful, which is why they make so many jokes about Turks.

Beginnings of a Short Story
At eight, a little girl doesn't understand the power an old, wrinkled woman possesses. She only sees. She sees her slouch. It is the type of curved back that Frankenstein had when he was formed from parts dug up from graves, with those uneven shoulders and crooked fingers. She sees her cold appearance, and it frightens her because somehow she knows it is the mark of a lifetime's worth of endurance. But a lifetime means nothing to her and endurance is abstract, so she is only frightened. She sees how everyone else bows down in the woman's presence. They bow because of the amount of respect she has accumulated over the years, but the little girl thinks that the old woman has possessed them all. She is careful never to look directly into the woman's eyes for fear of also becoming overcome. Her thinning hair, the language she cannot understand, the old house filled with antiques and dusty books, this city with its narrow alleyways and strange smells, these all belong to another age, another place. These are not her father's relics, and if they are, then she must be a wholly different girl.

At twenty-two, the girl has grown up and she understands the true meaning of endurance, respect, and a woman's burden. She understands now, but the woman is gone.


Two children pay their respects at the poet Shahriar's tomb in Tabriz.